What the young people of today are up to... (FICTION)

Although not nearly as popular as body piercing, tattoos and various other forms of body modification, a new trend is slowly sprouting up across the country. Not technically legal in this, or many other countries, and certainly not in the least bit safe; the act of removing body parts to express yourself is what today’s most extreme young people are increasingly attracted to.
Unlike most fads that were inspired by functional or decorative traditions from other cultures, (i.e. piercing and tribal tattoos,) removal has absolutely no functional purpose. In fact, most cultures view the lack of an ear or a finger as something less than desirable. This is not the case in modern day America.

“I always felt too normal, even with my facial tattoos and after having the webbing between my fingers pierced,” says Kevin Derricks, a self employed aluminum recycling facilitator from Gresham, OR. “I needed some new way to show people how different and unusual I really am, and there’s nothing more bizarre than a guy missing both ring fingers.”

Young people like Mr. Derricks are flocking south of the border in attempts to receive what many in the American medical community refer to as “really not even a medical procedure. It’s more like a well timed accident involving some old tools and what the patient hopes are their chosen body parts.”

A man in Cuatro Dedos de Descuento, Mexico who claimed to be a doctor explained that, while it may not be safe to perform the operations, they “seem to make the American kids happy.” When asked for proof of his medical credentials, the man told us they were in his other pair of pants and that he would get back to us. He has not, as of the writing of this article, gotten back to us.

While the explosive growth of piercing and tattoos rose alongside the “alternative nation” movement in the early to mid 1990’s, many of today’s young people feel that simply getting something permanently etched into their skin or having a large piece of metal inserted somewhere on their person is not extreme enough.

“I mean, I look at my parents with their pseudo-tribal tattoos and forked tongues, and to me it’s just way too mainstream,” explains a young man who preferred we not use his real name. “First I had a bunch of wire running through my whole ear, and then I realized that pretty much everyone has piercings, so I had my ears taken off last year on a trip to La Falta de Orejas last summer.”

This seems to be a common sentiment. Today’s young people feel that what may have seemed dangerous and obscure to their parents is now so closely tied to the mainstream that it’s not worth attempting to be different unless it shatters all preconceived notions of beauty, sanitary living conditions and purpose.

Time will tell whether this new movement has staying power, or if it will vanish like so many other cultural movements that tried to break new ground. We can look back to the short lived trends of dying one’s skin unnatural colors, surgical fingernail removal and implanting breasts onto one’s back to see that some things don’t last. And maybe it’s for the better. The day when toe removal is offered as a service in your local Hot Topic might not end up being a very good day, especially not if you plan on walking the mall after your spontaneous decision costs you not only a lot of money, but also your ability to walk.